On how things can bite
Some things, my mother told me early on in life, can bite. I am here to confirm the truth of those words.
I am, as many of you are, an internet addict. The legal definition I believe lies somewhere between using your computer non work related over 16 hours a week and prefering the computer to actual human contact. I am a firm believer that any computer I own should be used more hen 16 hours a day and well, the more people I know the more I love my computer okay? So I am an addict, you know what, I can live with that. Besides cigs I hardly have any vices really. I don't gamble (Lady Luck, though she loves me, leaves me when dice or chips are involved), I don't drink more then a glass of mead a month, I don't look for adrenalin highs, I don't do drugs and haven't even touched pot for the better part of a year. I am a veritable saint really. So I think I am allowed my one true love in life right, my smooth and shiny outdated piece of crap computer. Don't get me wrong. I love the thing, I am just a firm believer that sometimes love requires whips and pain and indeed is not really love without. But these last days I have stared at my computer without feeling at all. The internet is completely broke and no one understands the pain that causes me.
My roommate has internet at his work so conducts all affairs there, my friends tell me its the perfect opportunity to spend more time with them and my mother says I should get fresh air. Worst of all the helpdesk person whom I called near to tears as I went cold turkey said they'd call me back in 2 to 5 days if they hadn't fixed it by then. 2 to 5 days??? I don't have that kinda time man. I need this stuff! So now I have a little laptop working for me at my roommate's mothers flat. But it lacks the history me and my computer have. It's keys respond without the little TICK I am used to, its screen isn't on the right height, it doesn't have a mouse and it's even slower. I miss my old, good computer and proudly own up to my addiction but for the love of god, someone please fix it.
I would be more upset, but I actually got laid again last weekend. it had been a while....a long while...months. I am the kind of person that thrives of off sex and attention and well, I loathe missing it, yet have too much self esteem to shag someone I don't honestly fancy. So you wait and wait and your computer takes care of the needs much like a good bar of chocolate would have. And finally you get laid... And you remember why you missed it yet found life bearable without.
The sex was good, don't get me wrong. I just wasn't in love with the guy which means invariably that I don't want to have to listen to the guy afterwards. I like to cuddle, fall asleep, do it again something along those lines. I do not like having to discuss sex afterwards especially if all they manage to say, flattering though it may be, is Oh wow, that was awesome, you're a real nympho aren't you etc etc. I just moan something non committal and go back to whatever movie, videogame, dream I was involved in. Now Danny (as the guy was called) was all for talking, cuddling and turning off all other forms of distraction... I am sure many of you are waiting for just such a man but I am not. So I got annoyed at him, which resulted in more sex, which resulted in him wanting to cuddle more.... and him yammering on about whatever he thought was deep and meaningful. And through it all I longed for solitude and the loving embrace of the internet blanket supplied by my own sweet, dear computer.
I went to see Pirates 2 the other day, twice in all honesty. Nice. I do not believe I could ever get sick of watching Johnny Depp as a scoundrel. the man has an innate talent for being the lovable rogue. And this is after I watched the Libertine in which he manages to piss his pants and die f syphilis quite graphically. Anyone able to pull off sexy after that has my respect, and number should he desire it. It just struck me as odd that Orlando Bloom, token hottie though looking very much like an AIDS patient in his final month, fades to the background whenever dear Jack is in the picture. Like a daisy in front of a hurricane he fails to capture the attention and awe of anyone strolling past. Opinions differ on the movie and I won't spoil, but still, go see it. You do not want to be the only one not having seen it right? I am not trying to use peer pressure i am simply saying you'll look like an utter dumbass if you cannot talk about the big new movie with your colleagues, it's like not having read harry potter or seeing lord of the rings, love it or hate it, but form an opinion based on what you have seen or read yourself...don't just try to be different by stubbornly refusing to broaden your horizon. No one likes it.
More rant and a spelling check later after I get my own computer hooked up again, feel free to leave a comment.
I am, as many of you are, an internet addict. The legal definition I believe lies somewhere between using your computer non work related over 16 hours a week and prefering the computer to actual human contact. I am a firm believer that any computer I own should be used more hen 16 hours a day and well, the more people I know the more I love my computer okay? So I am an addict, you know what, I can live with that. Besides cigs I hardly have any vices really. I don't gamble (Lady Luck, though she loves me, leaves me when dice or chips are involved), I don't drink more then a glass of mead a month, I don't look for adrenalin highs, I don't do drugs and haven't even touched pot for the better part of a year. I am a veritable saint really. So I think I am allowed my one true love in life right, my smooth and shiny outdated piece of crap computer. Don't get me wrong. I love the thing, I am just a firm believer that sometimes love requires whips and pain and indeed is not really love without. But these last days I have stared at my computer without feeling at all. The internet is completely broke and no one understands the pain that causes me.
My roommate has internet at his work so conducts all affairs there, my friends tell me its the perfect opportunity to spend more time with them and my mother says I should get fresh air. Worst of all the helpdesk person whom I called near to tears as I went cold turkey said they'd call me back in 2 to 5 days if they hadn't fixed it by then. 2 to 5 days??? I don't have that kinda time man. I need this stuff! So now I have a little laptop working for me at my roommate's mothers flat. But it lacks the history me and my computer have. It's keys respond without the little TICK I am used to, its screen isn't on the right height, it doesn't have a mouse and it's even slower. I miss my old, good computer and proudly own up to my addiction but for the love of god, someone please fix it.
I would be more upset, but I actually got laid again last weekend. it had been a while....a long while...months. I am the kind of person that thrives of off sex and attention and well, I loathe missing it, yet have too much self esteem to shag someone I don't honestly fancy. So you wait and wait and your computer takes care of the needs much like a good bar of chocolate would have. And finally you get laid... And you remember why you missed it yet found life bearable without.
The sex was good, don't get me wrong. I just wasn't in love with the guy which means invariably that I don't want to have to listen to the guy afterwards. I like to cuddle, fall asleep, do it again something along those lines. I do not like having to discuss sex afterwards especially if all they manage to say, flattering though it may be, is Oh wow, that was awesome, you're a real nympho aren't you etc etc. I just moan something non committal and go back to whatever movie, videogame, dream I was involved in. Now Danny (as the guy was called) was all for talking, cuddling and turning off all other forms of distraction... I am sure many of you are waiting for just such a man but I am not. So I got annoyed at him, which resulted in more sex, which resulted in him wanting to cuddle more.... and him yammering on about whatever he thought was deep and meaningful. And through it all I longed for solitude and the loving embrace of the internet blanket supplied by my own sweet, dear computer.
I went to see Pirates 2 the other day, twice in all honesty. Nice. I do not believe I could ever get sick of watching Johnny Depp as a scoundrel. the man has an innate talent for being the lovable rogue. And this is after I watched the Libertine in which he manages to piss his pants and die f syphilis quite graphically. Anyone able to pull off sexy after that has my respect, and number should he desire it. It just struck me as odd that Orlando Bloom, token hottie though looking very much like an AIDS patient in his final month, fades to the background whenever dear Jack is in the picture. Like a daisy in front of a hurricane he fails to capture the attention and awe of anyone strolling past. Opinions differ on the movie and I won't spoil, but still, go see it. You do not want to be the only one not having seen it right? I am not trying to use peer pressure i am simply saying you'll look like an utter dumbass if you cannot talk about the big new movie with your colleagues, it's like not having read harry potter or seeing lord of the rings, love it or hate it, but form an opinion based on what you have seen or read yourself...don't just try to be different by stubbornly refusing to broaden your horizon. No one likes it.
More rant and a spelling check later after I get my own computer hooked up again, feel free to leave a comment.
posted by Lexy | 7/18/2006 11:52:00 AM
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