Gay Pride, Skype and Old timers

Last Saturday was the gay pride parade in Amsterdam. Living very close indeed me and my roommate decided to go and watch the freak show. And maybe see some interesting guys seeing as I am not the only one with an occasional fancy towards the male gender in our house. So off we went at about 14.00 in the afternoon by bus seeing as neither of us has a drivers license. We arrived at a very crowded Amsterdam and immediately sought our way to the canals were some of the little boats were already passing carrying it’s own load of ( pick 2 or 3 at random) fairies, queers, poofters, gay’s, homo’s, drag queens, leather fetishists, butch lesbians, fag hag’s and Cher impressionists. After some elbowing we had a rather okay spot looking out over the boats enjoying the dances and the bodies and the amazing amount of tits that came into view.

Yes, amazing amount of tits, for when someone says gay to me I always see to males. I imagine Boy meets boy ( the webcomic) or Priscilla queen of the desert (the movie) or the village people. Though I am very much aware lesbians exist and have met my fair share and have finally resolved they are not a figment of straight men’s imagination they just don’t factor in as gay. Odd isn’t it?

But anyway we watched a movie after the main parade which happened to be Superman Returns, shot by a gay director which was in style, as was Superman’s spandex’ed body and us ogling it, so as you can see I was merely staring at that cute ass and those tense biceps to show my support to the gay community. We then went out to have a drink and walked through the most crowded street in the universe. On a dare (quick explanation: I think my roommate isn’t gay enough. The whole liking boys part he has down, but there is no pink, rainbows or limp wristing or any of the other things that makes them so fucking wonderful to live with, so I keep trying to get him to be more…well fagotty) anyways, so on a dare I make him buy a rainbow scarf to wear and he accepts and even adds a Tshirt with DICK on it, payback was I had to wear a rainbow cap. Pfftt…. Hats look wonderful on me, so do caps and I’m extrovert…no problem. We went back through the street this time taking twice as long because Roommate had to stop to have men pinching his butt and read the tshirt and I had to stop to have very gay men touch my boobs and press their face in the ample cleavage I was showing. Which once again shows why gay men are so awesome, compliments without the whole having to turn you down for sex later. We even met a weird Aussie chick, but that’s too long a story.

Skype
I detest Skype. I have it installed because it is the only chat program available to Roommate when he is at work and I need someone to botch at, otherwise it would have been gone by now. I have met 2 nice people on there. I finally changed my name to something rude to scare off most of the people and even that won’t work. Everyone seems to be from Turkey, Pakistan or some other backward country and they all speak English very much like a stuttering half-witted retard. Sentences like: HOW U DOIN??!!1 UR SEKSY and IM FROM MAROCCO WANT MEET FREENDS, U BE FRIEND?!!!1 Make me want to grab a banjo and retreat to the quiet contemplation and great minds of the American redneck community. Consider this a warning my gentle readers, these people are out there, ready to be in your life if you give them a chance. BEWARE

I work with old people, at the moment. I am replacing a planner at the office I am working at. Which means, to put it simply, I make plans. I decide who has to be where and for how long. I make these plans to make sure everyone in my client list gets personalised care and help to keep their houses clean. Most of those are old people who are not able to vacuum anymore, and are unable to wash the windows. And they are the worst fucking pricks ever. I get along very well with most and have received enough praise to keep me cocky for a while, but some waste of good dog bones. Becoming older is one of my personal fears. Not age you understand, but the failing of one’s body while once mind is still there. Screaming behind a window as your body lays drooling in a puddle of it’s own urine with your kids gazing at you with sorrow in their eyes. –shudder- No thanks. I know the elderly can contribute a lot, I haven’t found out what yet, but I know there are lessons to be learned and I know at least most of them earn a certain degree of respect for muddling through the shit life can throw at you but man, these old ladies. They moan and groan and tell you they need help after all they are little old ladies and you cannot expect them to do it themselves, and what’s up with that, in their days they took care of the elderly, and didn’t give them the look you are giving me and handed them the last cake and made sure it would be a cute guy coming over around 3 o clock yes thank you very much goodbye. AAARGGGHHHH –pant- If wasn’t so deathly afraid of the amount of false teeth they can hurl at me I’d say something about it.