First day of school and Cleaning + oral sex

The first day of school is generally something met with an apprehensive amount of fear and excitement rolled into one stomach churning emotion. I normally don’t have any trouble making new friends. I know this must surprise some of you as I am not the nicest person around and I am quite open about that. My theory is that people innately sense when you have no plans to bullshit them and are attracted to it. I can find no other way to explain it. This all can tell you that when I am worrying about school it is –never- about not being liked. It’s about not doing what I am supposed to do. I work hard and I give it my all, is true on every subject save school and cleaning. I simply cannot get my ass into gear to order my books, go to school etc. The last is especially tricky because my subconscious mind is a devious bugger. Ask me anything when am newly woken up and you’ll get to speak to my subconscious bastard of a mind. It is the one that tells you to turn the alarm clock off (one of my boyfriends got in so much trouble when he listened) because we can sleep in, tells you the class isn’t too important and not really mandatory and when all else fails simply tells you, you can close your eyes for half a second longer and it will wake you in 3 minutes leaving you just enough time to look at your toothbrush before you jump on the bus, of course then you wake up 5 hours later having to take the fall for something your subconscious lord of darkness did and you had no control over. Moral? 1) Don’t ask me anything in the morning, 2) I don’t have any books or readers or school supplies and I have to be at school in 2 hours :(

Roommate and I were rolling over the living room floor fighting on Sunday I believe when we decided it was time for a little bit of cleaning, and not a moment too soon. The thing you need to understand is that each of us by him or her self is clean. My house used to be impeccably clean and every surface freshly waxed. Roommate living by himself had nothing but nice newly scrubbed floors. However when we merged our households we messed up. The cleaning duties were not so clear anymore and we both couldn’t stand the junk the other person was leaving, so we left it. I moved in in Feb. I think it is safe to say that in those lousy couple of months we have hatched more bacteria and fungi then a standard eastern polish kitchen sees in a year. We have gotten fruit flies and as anyone knows who has ever had those they are impossible to get rid of, we found (horror upon horror) maggots in the garbage containers and dead flies in the bottom of the trashcan, there is stuff in the kitchen sink that would qualify as thesis material for a med grad and the refrigerator is filled with items that ask if we can turn the light off whenever someone opens the door. Ever since the dishwashing machine died on us we just haven’t been the same and it’s gone from bad to worse. Thing is we both get cranky when the house is a mess so we’re constantly in a state of annoyance which for two people who fight for fun is not a good state. We’re both having weird dreams (I was building a wall out of sausage-rolls with other woman around a city. The woman weren’t working very hard and I thought that was unfair as we were building the wall to protect against a tsunami. We were building it to protect the children of that city who we as a precaution had put into a ditch filled with water, a kind of inner moat with speeding waters with a sheet of plastic over them. The walls never got higher then my knees and suffice it to say my sausage rolls wouldn’t stick. All the children died and I got rescued by a helicopter...if –anyone- feels they can explain that, please do) and well, we’re getting hurt. Roommate nearly broke my leg as he landed on me the wrong way leaving me bundled up in a little ball of pain and, 2 days later, still leaving me limping at times. We need to take back the house and we will, we have an offensive planned somewhere around when the kitchen sink drains again. Once the dishwasher has been repaired I solemnly swear to not let my house be taken over by anything living but Roommate. In the mean time anyone who can fix our plumbing and cleans the house as well can ask for oral sex by either Roommate or me.